Personal care at home, done with patience and privacy
Help with showering, dressing, toileting and grooming from a caregiver who knows how hard it is to accept, and makes it feel ordinary.
From our office in Toms River, serving Ocean County, NJ.
What personal care covers
Personal care is hands-on help with the most private parts of the day: bathing or showering, getting dressed, using the toilet, incontinence care, shaving, hair, teeth and skin. It's usually the help people resist longest, and the one that makes the biggest difference to how they feel.
Families often notice the signs before a parent says anything. The same clothes three days running. A shower that hasn't been used in a while. A rash, a smell, or a parent who has stopped going out because getting ready takes too long. These are common, and they're fixable.
The person who does this work is a personal care aide, and our page on what a personal care aide does covers the role itself. This page is about the help, and how we make it easier to accept. Personal care often sits in the same visit as homemaker services and companion care.
When you can't be there for the morning shower
If you live up the Parkway or out of state and your parent retired to the shore, you can't be there to help with bathing each morning, and your parent may not want you there anyway.
A caregiver can be. A personal care visit often starts with a warm shower, lotion on dry skin, the compression stockings and the clothes your loved one picked out, and ends with breakfast at the table. In the older bathrooms of Ocean County's adult communities, a shower chair and a hand-held shower head often do more than a renovation, and the nurse points out what would help at the first visit.
If your family keeps religious rules about modesty, tell us when you call, and we'll take them into account when we choose a caregiver for bathing and dressing.
What personal care includes
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Bathing and showering
Help in and out of the shower or tub, washing what they can't reach, and a shower chair or a sponge bath when standing is too hard.
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Dressing
Help with buttons, socks, shoes and compression stockings, in clothes they've chosen themselves.
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Toileting and incontinence
Help to and from the bathroom, changing pads and briefs, and cleaning up quietly, without a fuss.
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Grooming
Shaving, hair, nails, teeth or dentures, and lotion for dry skin.
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Skin checks
Noticing redness, sores or rashes during bathing and telling the nurse and the family.
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Eating
Meals cut up or set up, and help eating when hands don't cooperate.
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Getting around
A steady arm from bed to bathroom to kitchen.
How our caregivers keep it dignified
Accepting help in the bathroom is hard, especially from someone new. Our caregivers start slowly. On the first visits they might set out towels and stay close by, then do more as trust builds. If your parent would be more comfortable with a caregiver of a particular gender for personal care, tell us, and we'll take it into account when we match.
They keep covered whatever isn't being washed, let your parent do whatever they still can, say what they're about to do before they do it, and stick to the routine and the products your parent prefers. If your mother has always bathed in the evening, she still does.
Our guide to bathroom safety for seniors covers grab bars, shower chairs and the other changes worth making.
Why it's worth arranging
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Clean, comfortable, themselves again
A regular shower, fresh clothes and a shave do more for mood than most people expect.
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Safer bathrooms
A wet floor and a high tub edge are risky for anyone unsteady. Someone is right there.
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Problems caught early
A caregiver who helps with bathing sees skin, feet and swelling that might otherwise go unnoticed for weeks.
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Some help is easier from someone else
Adult children don't have to bathe a parent, which many people on both sides find hard.
How personal care starts
Bringing it up can be the hardest step. Some families start by calling it help around the house and let the bathing come later.
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Call us
Tell us what's become hard and how your parent feels about having help. We'll suggest how to bring it up.
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A nurse visits
During a free assessment, a registered nurse looks at the bathroom and bedroom, asks about routines and preferences, and writes the care plan.
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We match a caregiver
A kind caregiver whose manner suits your parent, and the same familiar face each visit whenever we can. If it isn't working, tell us and we'll make a change quickly.
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Visits on a schedule
A few mornings a week for a shower, or daily help getting up and ready for bed. The schedule can change as needs do.
What families are saying
As the daughter of a client, I'm so grateful for the compassionate care givers from Always Responsive Home Care. Their attention to my mom's personal needs and the way they brightened her days meant everything.
Questions about personal care
Still have a question? Call or text us. Someone is here to talk, any time of day.
(732) 447-9900 What is personal care for the elderly?
Personal care is hands-on help with daily self-care: bathing or showering, dressing, using the toilet, incontinence care, grooming, oral care and eating. It's provided at home by a trained caregiver, often called a personal care aide or home health aide, and it's non-medical. At Always Responsive Home Care, personal care follows a care plan written by a registered nurse.
How do I get my parent to accept help with bathing?
Start small and keep it practical. Many families introduce the caregiver as help with housework or errands and let bathing come once there's trust. Let your parent keep the choices they can still make, such as the time of day and the soap they use. A caregiver who keeps them covered, explains each step and doesn't rush makes the first showers much easier.
What are the signs an elderly parent needs help with personal care?
Common signs include wearing the same clothes for days, body odor or unwashed hair, a shower that isn't being used, skin rashes or sores, weight loss, falls or near-falls in the bathroom, and a parent who has stopped going out because getting ready is too tiring. Any one of these is worth a conversation; several together usually mean it's time for regular help.
What is the difference between personal care and companion care?
Personal care is hands-on help with the body, such as bathing, dressing, toileting and grooming, while companion care is company and help around the house without hands-on bodily care. Companion care covers conversation, outings, light housekeeping, meals and errands. Many people need some of both, and the same caregiver can usually provide both in one visit.
Can we ask for a female or male caregiver?
Yes, you can ask. Many people feel more comfortable with a caregiver of a particular gender for bathing and toileting. Tell Always Responsive Home Care when you call, and we'll take it into account when we match a caregiver.
Does Medicare pay for personal care at home?
Medicare does not pay for personal care such as bathing, dressing and help using the bathroom when that is the only care someone needs. It may cover part-time home health aide visits while someone is also getting skilled home health care that a doctor ordered. For ongoing personal care, families pay Always Responsive Home Care directly, and we file any long-term care insurance claims so the policy reimburses them.
Can a caregiver help with bathing in an older home with a step-over tub?
Yes. Many homes in Ocean County's adult communities have a step-over tub in a small bathroom. A caregiver uses a tub transfer bench or shower chair, a hand-held shower head and grab bars, keeps your parent covered and warm, and offers a sponge bath on days when the tub is too much. For grab bars, the Ocean County Office of Senior Services lists home repair programs, including Catholic Charities' Fix-It program at (732) 363-5322.
Can a caregiver help with showers after surgery at an Ocean County hospital?
Yes. After a joint replacement or other surgery at Community Medical Center, Ocean University Medical Center, Southern Ocean Medical Center or Monmouth Medical Center Southern Campus, the surgeon and the home health team set the precautions. Our caregiver follows them for showering and dressing, keeps the incision dry as instructed, and tells you and the nurse if it looks different.
Let's talk about care for your family
Send the form and our Ocean County team will call you back to talk about your loved one and set up a free in-home assessment. There's no cost and no obligation.
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